8months:4moves
Sunday:
Song of the Day: “Baby” by Dave Matthews on the album Some Devil.
Reading the Book: Gone Tomorrow: The Hidden Life of Garbage, which I will have to review once I finish. (Pick it up; you will be astounded by the historical, sociological, statistical, and psychological impact of waste)
Over the week I have made the 4th move in the last 8 months.
Review:
August 11th, Parents in Deer Park —> Rental in Collinsville
October 11th, Rental in Collinsville —> Upchurches in Denton (southside)
November 11th, Upchurches in Denton —> Lauren’s in Denton (northside)
April 5th, Lauren’s in Denton —> Upchurches in Denton
[[Future: 1st week June, Upchurches in Denton ---> Farm in Elm Mott]]
Although having some of my stuff stored in other people’s garages, the multitude of borrowed spaces every couple of months, packing up my car repeatedly, and finding routine in semi-nomadism has stirred up the most uncomfortable and lonely places in my heart, today I want to remember the old good I was able to experience and anticipate the new good I will experience for two months.
The Good I Am Leaving
Watching movies with Lauren on the couch, herbal smells, Jack’s smile, Lauren’s funny voices, experimental food combinations, equal conversations, reflections on life with Lauren’s level mind, 30 minute drive to work, new neighbors down the street, Lauren’s memories, an atmospheric living quarter, rollable bed (perfect for freezing nights to roll away from outer walls), internet when needed, biking the northern end, the walk around a now familiar neighborhood, spices, homemade house products, The Incredibles, borrowing the yoga video when no one was home, sunny front porch, laying in the long backyard, Coffee Ambassadors French Roast in the (deceased) French press, reading with Jack, turning the porch light on for Lauren, short-lived food co-op.
The Good I am Moving Into
weekly savory dinners with a family of 4 (or 3), 2 mile walk/bike ride to SouthLake Park and the tiny trails to practice running, hanging clothes outside to dry, teaching & learning new methods of cooking-health-selfsufficiency-you name it, dulcimer in the evening, New York Times, meeting and dining with different professors from UNT, an almost never-ending supply of classic fiction, watching people older than me make daily choices, must use internet in public places, no movies (so go to the dollar theater), listening to the youngest Upchurch read books to me, dancing in the living room with the two girls, sewing more, gluten free desserts, free Rolling Rock with every dinner, more shared spaces, picking up bath toys just to step in the shower, conversations of a more intellectual kind (like the other evening while Robert and I were cleaning the kitchen after dinner we tried to analyze the current trend of young men wearing fat bears and unkempt, bushy hair and what that signifies about the culture at large. he brought it up, not me. )
I wonder if you read this page if you really read all of those. I would have just skimmed at got the gist. And I wonder still if you even understand the weightiness of all of this in my life. How the smallest thing I could have mentioned up there has changed me dramatically in comparison. It is nice living with a family who does life differently than my family did. I still am not sure I want a family even in that sense. I guess that comes on gradually.
“
Baby, It’s alright
Stop your cryin’ now
Nothing is here to stay
Everything has to begin and end
A ship in a bottle won’t sail
All we can do is dream that the
wind will blow us across the water
A ship in a bottle set sail”
“Baby,” Dave Matthews
6 April 2008 at 9:27 pm
I love reading your words Melyssa. You write beautifully. And because I know how prone you have been in the past to ramble ‘verbally’, I also know that each ‘written’ word is chosen intentionally and is rich with meaning. You reveal your heart in very poetic ways. I am a simple man and speak too simply. I think your writing is beautiful.
Oh, and I think you are much improved verbally as well. When I first met, you could have my head all over the place trying to wrestle your words to the ground so that I could comprehend them.
I think that when you speak, our presence compels you to communicate to us in order that we understand, so that we can give you feedback that we understand. But when you write, you write to express how you feel about something and then leave the understanding to us. Because you are not seeking feedback, you just write. And it is cool. Love ya girl. Tell all our mutual friends that I love them. (You know who they are)
7 April 2008 at 9:19 am
change is emotional. thanks for sharing your changes and also focusing on the good in each one.